” Guess what!?” Said Cassy excitedly.
“You’re getting back with Dion…?” I replied reluctantly.
“No silly, I’m ready to date again, to find love, someone to cherish me as I am and to live for me despite my flaws…”
“Anyone in mind?”
“His Highness, Prince Charles!”
Yeah, Charles, he’s a great guy, maybe too good for someone like her. I muttered a congratulations but I doubt if she had heard me, she was already walking away, building castles on how they’ll spend their honeymoon.
Now where did I hear this? Oh, right! There was Cole when we first got to campus. He was perfection and so is Cassy, I guess that’s why they instantly clicked. They were on and off for 3 months till Cassy moved on, to dating Delian. Delian, well, soft-spoken, shy, intelligent and awestrucking seemed to be holding up well with her. She couldn’t possibly leave a whole package, she proved me wrong though, when she came crying to my room saying she’s had enough. My favorite of the 3, Jay, followed suit. Seemed like they had been dating for a while and were only waiting for an opportune time to be a thing. I liked Jay. For one, being a third-wheeler on their dates was the real deal, I was being fed pretty well( excuse my love for food). Then he was just awesome, I really lack words to describe him. Our closeness which was totally frowned upon by Cassy, made him open up to me, a lot. He wanted to know how to handle Cassy, he liked/loved her and was willing to do everything even be extra in order to keep her. I helped or at least tried to. Unfortunately, the poor guy left. I know I shouldn’t be saying this, but I was devastated. My lunch and dinner tickets walked away and honestly, I was starting to like someone of the opposite gender. If it had not been for girl code, I swear… anyway, every communication stopped, her way of course. Cassy found Dion, I never cared till now that Charles is here. Great!
One thing that really stood out in all her relationships was the fact that she was the perfect one all along. She often convinced herself that she met the wrong people, people who wouldn’t reciprocate her love. Thinking of it, I wondered if her ‘toxicity’ was the one she wanted people to reciprocate. There’s no denying that’s no one’s perfect and neither were the guys…apart from Jay…sort of.
Delian is a bookworm,
That’s positive but now that he was in a relationship, he had to spare time for Cassy, it was hard. Cassy would complain for days on end of how he never gave her attention and that he always chose books over her, as if that’s a crime. He did sacrifice, I saw it. One time, he left the library to attend to Cassy, apparently she needed someone to escort her to a boutique to buy a new dress for her upcoming beauty pageant competition. Delian rarely raised his voice and this too agitated her. He wasn’t being manly enough when not speaking up, he wasn’t helping her out when she needed an honest opinion. Occasionally, he would say the usual, “You’re just perfect the way you are babe.” But Cassy needed more, her hunger for validation wasn’t being satisfied, she felt like she had to ask for it and that made her mad. Delian gave up, making Cassy scamper away.
Cole is a football enthusiast and a key player in the school team. They have a rather strict coach, this meant less time for Cassy. You can imagine all the drama that she brought to him.
Jay…*sigh*…he suffered the most.
“She likes compliments and brutal honesty, follow her almost everywhere when you are free. Just give her your time and attention,”I would tell him when he sought for help.
The next thing I know, Jay speaks too much, doesn’t value her feelings when he speaks the truth (isn’t kind to her). Don’t let her get started on how clingy he is.
“Gwen, I think she hates me,” Jay was hopeless.
“Don’t worry, she gets back to her senses real fast. Next time, don’t talk much. Give her space. Pretty much the opposite. Shower her with gifts though, she loves surprises.”
2 days later;
“G, he gives me gifts every other time, I can smell him asking for a favor soon. And can you believe he’s started being silent on me? He doesn’t solve anything in my life other than telling me that everything will be okay. Do things look okay to you? Whichever idiot is advising him on treating girls is doing a pathetic job if you’d ask me.”
First of all, OUCH!
Second, what the f**k do you want?
I’ve known that girl for some years, about 4. I won’t deny the fact that she’s beautiful but I also can’t turn blind in light of the fact that she’s clearly getting out of hand.
When Cassy’s sad or angry, the world becomes her grand enemy. She rants about having zero friends to listen to her and help her align her entangled mind. Normally, I’d be disappointed with her remarks but the good friend that I am, chooses to stay. It’s not because I don’t feel the discomfort, sometimes I stay knowing too well that finding a friend like her would take a million light years. These moments are a downer to me too since she expects me to grieve with her. Exactly how she wanted Jay to be. She forcefully fits people in her shoes. If you laugh at a meme or cheer her up with a funny clip, you’re happy she’s drowning. If you seem down too and play sad songs, you’re depressing her more.
Now that everyone has abandoned her, me included, I try to recreate a bond by asking what’s wrong. Another thing, Cassy is never wrong. She plays the victim every single damn time. She apologizes when need be, but other times she’d rather walk naked on the streets. Yeah, I know what I said. It’s nothing but the truth. I would struggle to bring things to normalcy, even give some pieces of advice while pointing out her mistakes. It would be met with a, “do you have any idea of how a relationship should be like? Oh, I forgot, you’ve never dated. You wouldn’t understand!” Technically, it’s true. On the other hand, I know there’s a big line between being jealous and being crazy. The latter in her seems to have won.
After what seems like a decade, she gets back on her feet. She might pop a question and I may sigh a relief thinking she’s finally comprehending her trait.
“G, do you think I’m toxic?” She would ask.
My mind being automated in such situations will sermon the Avengers, ‘Ladies, shall we?’. It would be like: baby girl, you’re T-O-X-I-C. On a scale of 1 to 10, you’re 11. If I was to choose between being you and living with cockroaches, I’ll hold a party and start knowing the roaches officially by name, age and relation. It’s not that boys don’t deserve you, YOU DON’T DESERVE BOYS. I love you sweetheart but ain’t no way I’m loving you carrying around your ‘toxicity’ from one guy to another. In any case, you’re getting worse boo.
But my mouth! Lord, my mouth should be kept shut for heaven’s sake.
“No Cas, you’re just okay, don’t change because of what people say. If they won’t take you at your worst then they don’t deserve you at your best. You’re strong and fearless. If guys only see you as toxic, then best believe, they’re cowards.” Every statement I ever made like this was followed by regrets.
“You know what, you’re right. I am gorgeous,” if it were the first time talking to her, I would have hoped to hear the contrast to her words, her admitting that she’s been wrong a couple of times and she needed to change. This was the zillionth talk I was having with her about toxicity.
I don’t know, maybe I don’t understand the world of relationships because I’ve never been in one, or maybe I’m focusing too much on her negative side, or maybe I’m the one misleading her when praising her instead of reprimanding her. Or, it’s human’s nature to get out of hand then fall back into place…could be, even though I’m aware of a repititive trait that can be tragic in the end. She’s, no doubt, the best company to have when in a high spirit. I honestly don’t even think I know my best friend that deeply and that’s sad.
My phone beeped and I instantly knew who it was.
“I need you to help me pick a dress for my date,” the message read.
Oh well, duty calls. While she’s still happy, let me embrace the moments. I do hope Charles will make a great boyfriend. If this doesn’t work out… we’ll carry on. As usual. But this time, we’ll try something different, not dates nor boyfriends, just change.
All I can say is, Welcome to the next level of Jumanji.
In case you meet Cassy, tell her I have a surprise for her in my diary.
Thank you for reading